(no subject)

Omg I haven't done any exercise barely since last November. Other then running around with the kids and being crazy busy. I haven't really RAN since junior year.

Today I jogged 5.5 miles. That's right, MILES. And oh boy are my legs sore. It's crazy to do that with a baby in a jogger but I did it. I want to drop 30 pounds and get down to a size 5. Here's hoping!

Then there was a shit tone of awkwardness with Susana during the switch over with Daphne. I'm sorry but don't ever lie to me. She asked how my day went, told her about my jog, she then tells me she does that. No you don't. You hate working out. Stop being a retard you retard.

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(no subject)

On weekends I earn something called Jack Money. This is money that I earn while watching a little boy named Jack. Did I mention that he will scream for hours that his mommy is gone? He has attachment issues. But it help pays for gas.

I'm on the search for a stylish yet reserved dress for Grandma Billie's funeral. Should be interesting enough. As much as I love dresses I never buy them for myself. It's always a gift or I stumble on it online. I will probably go to the mall on Thursday and drag Kaydi with me. I need to clean out the trunk so both our strollers can fit, otherwise one of us will have to carry our baby all the time and our arms will fall off. Kaydi is one of my best friends. We grew up together but in high school we were never friends because I thought she was mean and too popular. She was in my sisters grade so she was a year above me but she isn't that much older then me. When we found out I was pregnant my husband saw her and told her that I was pregnant, because she was too, and she facebooked me. I freaked the fuck out because I thought I was going to be told I was whore. Nope. Not at all. We have been super close ever since. Her daughter Summer is 3 months 1 day older then Kirby.

I forgot to change my clocks down stairs so I got really confused. But not really because my phone had the right time. YAY!

Last night I hung out with Kaydi and Rose, and told Harold he needed to go out and have some fun because he would gain an hour of sleep and since his grandma died he needed to get out. He didn't come home till one to two in the morning. I'm glad because he never goes out. I went out so he needed to. Granted my going out was just oodles of girl talk and baby holding, but still fun. Speaking of which I need to take a shower because my hair is stiff with hair spray.

Excuse the spelling errors and grammar mishaps. I have a crying baby and trying to chug some coffee.

(no subject)

Yesterday I thought the worst part of the day was getting gasoline in my eye.

I was wrong.

Harold's grandmother Billie passed away.

Rest in peace Grandma Billie. We will all miss you terribly.

I still don't know how to feel.

(no subject)

Hi new friends! Feel free to ask me any questions.

You know those days when you are basically thinking it can't get any worse? Yeah, I had one of those days, but guess what the universe decided to throw my way as the cherry on top of my shit sundae? Well first I'll tell you about my day.

I think I was the only one in my house who wanted to sleep in. Kirby was kinda crabby all night and when it wasn't him it was Harold because his back is really messed up right now for some reason. So I was either rubbing his back or rocking Kirby. Well, Daphne got up pretty early so we were all up. Harold went to work and her and I were hanging out. That was fine. She was only being kinda whinny and it was okay. Nothing out of the ordinary. Well, after bringing her to school the plan was I was going to run home, grab some lunch, feed Kirby, get to the ferry boat, park, walk across, pick up some Mary Kay stuff from my director, and then catch the next boat back. Well, Harold was a dick when he called me. Apparently his sister is flying in this weekend with her daughter, who HATES ME due to some stuff that happened before the wedding that didn't really happen how she said it did but because she is a crazy 14 year old they all believed her. Whatever. So he was saying how he might go see his grandmother this weekend while they are there. His grandmother has cancer and is going to pass away at anytime. I said I wanted to go too. I love his grandma and I didn't understand why he didn't want me there. Well, apparently because of the awkwardness and he doesn't get that there won't be awkwardness because EVERYONE WILL BE CRYING. So we bickered and yelled at each other but nothing back because we always love each other. Then when we got off the phone I decided to put gas in my car. We buy our gas off island because it is a dollar cheaper, sometimes two. We fill up the car, and then gas cans, and then bring the cans back with us. Well I have never filled up my own car with the gas cans, Harold always does it. I wanted to not bother him so I thought that I could do it. The big cans were heavy and I didn't have a funnel so I thought I would fill the car with the small can that had a spout. Did I mention that my husband does landscaping? Harold got home and I told him that I filled up the car and I'm pretty sure the conversation went something like this:

Me: I put gas in the car!
Him: You did?
Me: Yes!
Him: Um, what gas did you use?
Me: The small can with the spout, duh.
Him: Oh crap. That gas is for my landscaping tools only. It is mixed with oil. Your car might not start now and it's going to smoke and smell horrible. You need to fill it with one of the bigger cans now so it's not as diluted. I'll get you a funnel.

He got me the funnel. I proceeded to lift the gas can and pour. NOTHING came out. I set in on the ground with a thud and this is where my common sense went out the window. I LOOKED IN THE TUBE BECAUSE I THOUGHT THERE WAS A ROCK IN IT OR SOMETHING. An air bubble or something released and gas started GUSHING IN MY EYE. I started screaming and running around and grasping my face. It burned so bad. Harold ran outside and grabbed me and pushed my head in the shower and all I hear is "this is going to be cold" and he flushed it out. Yeah so my eye is really blurry now but the burn on my face has basically gone away.

Anyways so that was the worst thing ever. I made an appointment with my friend who is a massage therapist for Harold to get his back worked on during his lunch break. He is very happy with the results :) Maybe some sexy time tonight. Now I'm going to make onion rings and spaghetti squash.

(no subject)

I've been meaning to write some long entry about where I am currently in my life and how things are going, but it's hard. Sitting down to do it is just something that I don't have time for. But things have been going pretty good. I've been keeping the house clean until about this week, because I've been feeling pretty shitty. Well the shittness has come to an all time high. On Halloween I had to blow my nose in the morning and there was ACTUAL snot. I know that doesn't mean a lot to most people but to me it does. If I have to blow my nose it's more of a runny mucus, but this time I had SNOT! Snotty snot snot! I was really hoping it wasn't a big deal but alas, while trick or treating my nose was running. I was hoping that it was because it was raining outside and cold and then when I got inside I thought it was because of the temperature change. At least I hoped it was. Well by the end of the night I couldn't breathe. I feel like someone poured concrete into my body. I'm so stiff and snotty. It's pretty craptastic. Trick or treating was really awesome though. I went up early and met up with Kaydi and Jax. Kaydi and I pushed Summer and Kirby in their strollers while they were all dressed up in costume. Logan was a cutie fire fighter but I didn't get to see Caleb. He was cold and considering he isn't even one yet he wasn't into trick or treating in the rain. Well, then I met up with Harold on his lunch break and Harold, Susana, Daphne, Kirby, and I all went trick or treating as one big awkward family of people who are either married, dislike eachother slightly, are step siblings, or have fucked each other. YAY! That was all on Saturday, because that's when trick or treating up town was for Vashon. Well I learned from Susana that she thinks that a NORMAL HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP means that the man has sex with other women, even when the person he is dating isn't comfortable with it. I hope her perception of a happy and healthy relationship changes because she isn't happy with her boyfriend fucking other girls on the side. No one should settle.


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(no subject)

I have a fear of being forgotten. This stems from my mom not ever really being there and not putting forth effort to contact me after she left. I know that Harold will never forget me, Kirby will never forget me, Daphne will never forget me, but I feel like I'm expendable. It sucks. I know that I'm not, but it doesn't change what was ingrained in me. That I am nothing more then a speck of dust to some people. Eh. You win some you lose some.

I need to go shopping. I love selling Mary Kay. Right now if you go to my Mary Kay site you put in "facebook discount" in the comments section of your order, I will take off 25%! And free shipping! I accept all major credit cards!

www.marykay.com/caitlinlittle

(no subject)

I suck at posting. Have I mentioned that I suck at posting? Today Kirby had his 2 month well baby check up and he is 10lbs! He is short but that's expected because he is a preemie. He is my little boy and I love him so much.

I'm making leaps and bounds with being nice to Susana. I'm trying to put forth an effort to make everything easier on her. She broke up with her boyfriend because he was yelling at her and being mean and I'm glad. Daphne doesn't need an unstable situation.

Today I should have done a lot more then I did. Eh, such is life.

(no subject)

A lot of stuff has been happening in my life lately. One thing is that I'm not eating properly. I have this problem where I just don't eat like a regular person unless I am really aware of it. In the morning I have coffee, for lunch I normally have soup or something, and then at night I eat like a zillion chocolate bars and pasta for dinner. It's getting ridiculous because I need to be eating so I'm not cranky or tired. But no, I don't. Kirby is doing really well and so that's really great, and I've started babysitting a little boy named Jack who is a handful, but at least it's money. Guess what this money goes to?

Well I've started selling Mary Kay. Basically I hold skin care classes and teach both men and women about skin care, makeup application, and help people choose colors that are best for them. So far I really like it. I have already held one class that went pretty well. Since Mary Kay has been around for 47 years they have really worked hard at what they do. So far I LOVE the vinyl lip shine because it's not sticky or greasy, and the mineral powder foundation. Now I used to pay $25 for the same amount of mineral foundation of Mary Kay that I can get for $18. It's great. If anyone wants to throw a MK party to get wonderful hostess benefits like FREE gifts, discounts, and perks, please contact me. Oh, and believe me, I totally know that most of you, well, I know none of you live near me, so you'd think that you can't throw a party with me as your wonderful consultant. That's a pile of poo because you can! If you get a bunch (at least three people other then yourself) of people together we could do one via webcam, with me sending you all the wonderful facial samples you would need for you and your guest. Then they can just order off my site during a period of time, put your name in the comments as the hostess and you will get the benefits. Or we could just do it the easy way in which we don't have a webcam party, and just tell all your friends that if they order things off my site in a select period of time and put your name in the comments as the hostess and you reap the benefits.

Please check out what I have at www.marykay.com/caitlinlittle to look at the products and see if you'd be interested. I'd really appreciate any interest. We have a lot of really great things right now for gifts, and a lot of really great skin care products for men. Thank you!!!

(no subject)

I'm terrified that Kirby isn't going to be like the other kids. I fear he will be slow and there is nothing I can do about it. I am guilty of a very common problem amongst mothers, I have been comparing Kirby to other babies. I know you shouldn't do that but I can't help it. Oh, but don't worry, it gets worse because all the babies I am comparing him too are much older then he is. Summer, a fourth and a half month old that is not only developmentally advanced so say the doctors, is my biggest comparison. It's a curse I say, given to me by the parenting gods for even once saying that I have the cutest baby in the world.

Last night Harold didn't work late so we had impromptu game night/spaghetti feed with a bunch of friends. Our house is now a complete wreck, but I cleaned it hella before people came so it's not going to be that hard to pick up. Last night I was able to wash most of the dishes or at least rinse them first, but I still have to put all the board games and wii games away. I have lots of laundry to do today and to iron. It is a very cozy day :)

As soon as Kirby wakes up he gets a bath, but he fell asleep right after he ate this morning. Awe sleeping baby :) I have bread in the oven because I make all our bread homemade and it smells AMAZING. And my fridge is full of spaghetti and salad from last night. I make my own croutons and it is delicious.

(no subject)

I have been the worst LJ friend possible lately, at least to the like, four people who read my posts. My life has been a whirlwind of to do's, getting the house ready for winter, cuddles, cleaning, and being a one woman taxi to a 4 year old. Honestly you wouldn't think that a four year old has that many places to go, but when you are trying to be a good mom, they do. I've been trying to get Daphne doing more things outside the house with girls and boys who are older then she is, but only older then about a year or two. She is in a special preschool that is at the elementary school that is for kids who need a little bit more help, as her mom had a really difficult time in school because she is...well there are NO tools in that shed. Susana isn't missing some, she is missing all of them except for probably like a weed whacker and some paint cans (idk what you people keep in your sheds, but growing up ours only had a lawn mower and christmas ornaments, and all the special soaps and polishes you would need to wash an old beautiful car). A couple months ago we had her take some tests so we could really figure things out when it came to her getting a job or social security (hey, I may strongly dislike her but I want her to feel useful or at least have something to fall back on, so Harold's mom and I have been trying to help her get on her feet), and Susana tested at a comprehension level BELOW a 4th graders. This included reading, writing, spelling, and understanding. Harold still doesn't think she is that bad, but he is blinded by the fact that they were together for six years and there weren't that many problems. Well buddy, all you two did was go to the bars, go dancing, and shop. She never needed to be on her feet or on her own, these things never came up. Susana can't fill out a job application by herself. It's quite sad. Anyways, Daphne has speech...issues? She isn't really where she should be in terms of talking. She drops more letters and syllables then she should and will just scream and punch when we don't understand her, but half the time she just says one word and grunts... I'm not sure if this is something she will grow out of like Harold thinks, but she has been tested by the school and doesn't have any serious problems. So I have been trying to get her to spend time with kids that will push her learning, nothing bad, just someone she can emulate. I think it's helping, and with the flash cards and learning games we have been playing I think it's a positive thing.

I love having Kirby home from the hospital. We brought him home the 9th of September. That day was insane. I was so tired, so happy, so scared. I wasn't going to have nurses or monitors, emergency buttons to push or an automatic ice machine. So far it's been going good. He is eating so much all the time and it's crazy. I remember when we were praying for him to eat one full oz of food, then it was two. We prayed for weeks for him to consistently drink two oz, and now he is drinking anywhere from four oz to eight in a single feed. He isn't sleeping through the night though, he wakes up about every four to five hours. I don't normally nap during the day because we have Daphne or I have housework to get done, or I'm holding him because he doesn't like being on his back all that much. I love holding him. Today I need to remember to call DSHS. I keep forgetting and I need to do it today or Kirby won't have health care anymore and that's BAD.

I woke up at 4am today to get Harold off to work because he works the early shift today. I've been up ever since. It's about 6:30am now. I love my life. I'm going to stop eating bread because I need to lose weight. But other then that I love my life. Harold talked to comcast, threatened to switch to Direct TV, and they lowered our bill and gave us STARZ. I'm watching Dear John. It's super cute.